Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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