it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
