last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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