There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
