why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
3pm strippers are depressing
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
