Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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