Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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