I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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