dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
