ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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