Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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