Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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