so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize