I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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