I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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