I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
