We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
