Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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