How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
