Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
