You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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