you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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