at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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