Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
