Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your cock deserves a montage
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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