Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
nutella sex= disaster
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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