wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
