The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
vagina is talking i cant
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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