How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
