Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
