He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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