worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
