Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
