another moral hangover. fuck.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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