I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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