She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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