I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
