So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
