and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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