Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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