i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
