I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
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She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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