Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
