It's Friday. Sex?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
