Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
