Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
