piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
