People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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