porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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