You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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