i just made my gag reflex go away.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
