the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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