she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
