Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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