she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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