I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
And then he peed in my hair
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