all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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