Farmville is her only friend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm at about main and main street
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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