I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
