Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
