Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
