My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize