thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
