Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
